THE ROYAL COURT

THE FOUNDER

👑 Queen Squirrel

FOUNDER · VISIONARY · COLLECTOR OF UNNECESSARY OBJECTS · SUPREME PURVEYOR OF UNHINGED TREASURES

Born beneath the flickering light of a clearance aisle and raised on expired glitter glue and overconfidence, Queen Squirrel has dedicated her life to one noble pursuit: elevating nonsense to an art form.

While others were studying business strategy, she was studying impulse purchases. While others saved for retirement, she saved weird packaging. While others asked, “Should we?” she whispered, “Obviously.”

After years of underground experimentation — and at least one glitter-related incident we legally cannot discuss — she founded Ridiculous & Company: a sanctuary for the misunderstood, the unnecessary, and the delightfully absurd.

Queen Squirrel believes:

• Regret is temporary.
• Ridiculous is forever.
• If it makes you laugh in the checkout line, it belongs in your cart.

Her hobbies include:

• Hoarding brilliance like a glamorous woodland dragon
• Dramatically gasping at her own ideas
• Declaring ordinary objects “insufficiently ridiculous”
• Wearing imaginary crowns while making very real chaos

Some say she’s eccentric. Some say she’s a genius. Some say she once tried to sell a paperclip with a backstory. All are correct.

Long may she reign. Preferably near a glitter source.

THE CO-FOUNDER

👑 King Squirrel

CO-FOUNDER · CHIEF CREATIVE OFFICER · ARCHITECT OF ABSURDITY · SUPREME CREATIVE FORCE

Where others see a blank canvas, King Squirrel sees seventeen unhinged possibilities and picks the best worst one.

Born with a pencil behind one ear and a questionable vision in both eyes, King Squirrel has spent his entire existence making things — beautiful things, bizarre things, things that make people stop mid-scroll and whisper “…but why though?” The answer, always, is: because it needed to exist.

While others were learning the rules of design, King Squirrel was dismantling them for parts. While others sought inspiration in galleries and mood boards, he found it in fever dreams, hardware stores, and the deeply specific chaos of a Tuesday afternoon. His design philosophy can be summarized as: What if we did that, but more?

He is the creative engine of Ridiculous & Company — the force behind every logo, every label, every product that looks simultaneously like a mistake and a masterpiece. If Queen Squirrel is the impulse, he is the execution. If she asks “should we?”, he has already started sketching.

King Squirrel believes:

• Good taste is a starting point, not a destination.
• The best ideas arrive at inconvenient hours.
• If it doesn’t make you slightly nervous, it’s not ready yet.

His hobbies include:

• Designing things at midnight that seem reasonable until morning
• Arguing passionately about fonts no one else can see
• Finding beauty in objects that have absolutely no business being beautiful
• Refusing to call anything “finished”

Some say he’s a perfectionist. Some say he’s a visionary. Some say he once spent four hours choosing a shade of ridiculous. All of them are right.

Long may he create. Preferably in peace and quiet, which he will never have.

THE SHOP ASSISTANT

🦡 Prince Badger

SHOP ASSISTANT · GUARDIAN OF GLITTER · MASTER OF PACKING TAPE · PATIENT PRETENDER TO THE THRONE

Do not be fooled by the packing tape.

Prince Badger arrived at Ridiculous & Company under mysterious circumstances — some say he answered a classified ad, some say he simply appeared one morning between a shipment of bubble wrap and a box of glitter bombs. The royal family asked no questions. The realm needed a Shop Assistant. He needed a kingdom to eventually acquire.

He ships your nonsense swiftly. He packs your parcels with dramatic flair. He labels, tapes, and dispatches each ridiculous treasure as though it were a diplomatic parcel of the highest order — because to him, it is. Every box that leaves the building is a small piece of a very large plan.

Prince Badger believes:

• Every great empire is won one packing peanut at a time.
• Patience is a virtue. So is a well-placed staple gun.
• Inventory management is just strategy by another name.

His hobbies include:

• Cataloguing everything with unsettling precision
• Whispering to the packing peanuts
• Studying the structural weaknesses of the castle
• Looking perfectly innocent

Some say he’s loyal. Some say he’s ambitious. Some say they once caught him trying on the Queen’s spare crown “for inventory purposes.” All of it is true.

Long may he assist. For now.