⚠ ROYAL INTELLIGENCE BULLETIN ⚠

Office of the Royal Guard · Classified · Eyes of the Crown Only

KNOW YOUR ENEMY


Citizens of the Realm,

By decree of the Royal Court, this page has been established to inform loyal subjects of a growing threat to the Crown and its territories.

Intelligence reports indicate that something stirs beneath the surface of Haiku Pond.

We do not yet know their full numbers. We do not know the extent of their resources. We do know this: they are organised. They are well-funded. And they communicate exclusively in haiku.


Intercepted Transmission

Acorns fall above
We eat what falls to the floor
Not for much longer

— Source unknown. Origin: beneath the waterline.


The Royal Intelligence Office is conducting an ongoing investigation. Further dispatches will be released as intelligence is gathered and verified.

Remain vigilant. Trust no crustacean.

🔒 This bulletin is updated regularly. Check back for new intelligence. 🔒

Unauthorised reproduction will be met with a strongly-worded decree and possible banishment.